The Way I Heard It 12.23.06

......[c]2006 by
Richard L Zorek

.........12.23.06............
Dennis Linde, the writer of the 1972 hit for Elvis Presley, "Burning Love" has died. Or has he? Word has it that Elvis has been in hiding since 1977 and is ready to make his comeback appearance. He needs some songs written..................Bono will receive Knighthood from the British ambassador to Ireland. Apparently they liked U2's "How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb" album also. It is not known if Cher will attend the ceremony.................Zuzu Bailey is 66 and lives in Seattle. She has apparently been in hiding all these years because of informing mortals about "the angels" and the "bell ringing" thing in 1946........................................A Bakersfield man set himself on fire to protest a San Joaquin Valley school district from celebrating Christmas instead of winter break. His last words before the incident were "this ought to prove how sane my argument is!!!" The school district has considered celebrating Festivus but they couldn't get a Festivus Pole. At least that's the way I heard it...............

Offend No One? Yeah Right...it's Christmas

.......[c]2006 by
Richard L Zorek

.........12.21.06............Wyandotte High School in Kansas City, Kansas isn't puttting up a Christmas Tree this year. Instead it is called a "winter tree." (Even if it does look suspiciously like a Christmas tree). The kids want to sing gospel Christmas music, but Principal Walter Thompson said "they have too much religion. We wouldnt use that music even if it was allowed, because we dont want to offend anyone." "Too much religion?"....sounds like Thompson just offended a whole lot of people. "We don't want to offend anyone.." except the Christian and religious community which lives in the school district and has kids that go to the school. Get a clue, Thompson.

The Way I Heard It 12.1706

.......[c]2006 by
Richard L Zorek

.........12.17.06............

John Edwards plans to announce his candidacy for president in a part of New Orleans hit by Hurricane Katrina. Apparently the area has been refortified and can stand some more hot air blowing through the area...........The US Mint will be putting images of first ladies on the new one dollar coins starting next year. The idea is to boost the image of the coin because of the flop of the Susan B Anthony Coin and the Sacajewea dollar. The problem with those, however, was that no one could remember who President Anthony or President Sacajewea was...... Defense lawyers want the judge to throw out a confession that Harrel Johnson made to Oklahoma police about the killing of "Precious doe" because it the confession makes Johnson looks guilty. At least that's the way I heard it.