The Life and Times of the Oxfordian Snail

......[c]2005 by Richard L Zorek......12.31.05.....

Happy 2006! I guess I could just leave it there. It is short, but to the point. Might be better than writing some gratuitous article which would just use a lot of words and in the end would just say the same thing. I don't really have to write anything about the New Year. After all, I am the chief editor and I get last word as to what gets printed and what doesn't. If I had decided that a good article about care and feeding of the oxfordian snail would be appropriate then it would be done. However I don't know anything about the care and feeding of snails and I made the "oxfordian" word up. (I have an "Oxford" dictionary in front of me). I could make it up I suppose and possible get some of you to believe me. (aaahhh, the power of words). But I won't. That snail lived in my imagination for a few minutes and now is extinct....such a tragic end and short life, but now we must go on.

About twenty years ago I spent New Years eve at a dance and party with lots of mixed drinks and ended the night at a motel with a girl named Debbie I knew from work and from the party. We didn't go there to sleep. How times have changed. Tonight I will "celebrate" by not celebrating and I won't miss it. I hope to be in bed and sleeping by 12. I did go to church, though....by choice and willingly. Twenty years can sure change a person can't it? I don't make resolutions because they usually amount to being things I should be fixing in my life any way, and the first of January has no magical power to enforce them. I certainly move closer to the day I will die...as do we all...and it would be a great time to reflect on that. But once again, the first of January has no power over that either, because we should always be aware of where we are going in this life. Closer to death..closer to eternity. Death? Is that a downer? I don't see it that way. It is an important event that is going to happen in everyones life: rich, poor, tall, short, ugly, pretty. Often referred to as the great "equalizer." I also believe that how one deals with it says a lot about that persons character. Tomorrow is coming and it is time to do something powerful and impact those around you. Because they too are moving closer. And it all starts by realizing how short of time we have. David in the Psalms referred to us as blades of grass....here today and gone tomorrow. Almost as quick as the "existence" of that oxfordian snail in the scheme of things. It doesn't matter where we have been...tomorrow is a new day. Not because it is January 1......but because it is a new day: cease it!

Watch, Enjoy, Spend

.......[c]2005 by Richard L Zorek......12.30.05.....
I don't watch much TV. I don't have time for it. I do not feel deprived because of that. I don't watch "Desperate Housewives" or any of the "CSI" shows which sounds like they must run pretty much all the time. Occasionally I might catch the news or a piece of some show, but that's about it. Obviously I do get on the Internet. And spend probably more time on it than I should. I guess it was inevitable that TV and the Internet would merge. Of course, my intro to the Internet was through WEBTV, so I knew of the capability. Then came video streaming and if one has all the right "downloaded" software and some good hardware, their computer can be just like a TV. This week CBS begins streaming two of it's shows "Two and a Half Men" and "How I Met Your Mother." This will be the first time CBS has streamed a whole TV show. And it will have no commercials. Next year AOL plans to stream classics like "Welcome Back Kotter" and "Chico and the Man." Why are they doing this? Because they are stalking you--the consumer. They have realized the upward trend of people watching videos and movies online and instead of making their own environment (i.e, their studios and stations) more appealing....they are going to track you down. Oh, you are not only going to watch their shows.....but you are going to enjoy them. And then....happily....email them on. The "no-commercial" shows are just the intro.....they will very soon have commercials wherever they can squeeze one in. Already if you go to the major TV news websites in the Kansas City area, the news clips are proceeded by a commercial. So, that video about that drive-by murder may be important to you....but you have to know where to get that good deal on a new car first.

None of this can be done for free and the goal of all commercial television is to get money out of your wallet. You give some to their advertisers, so they can pay them for getting the ad on the network who puts the ad on to make you want to get money out of your wallet and give some to their advertisers, so.....it is the circle of life in the world of TV. Now throw the Internet in the mix somewhere and it continues.....

Watching You Watch It

"Watching You"

.......[c]2005 by Richard L Zorek......12.29.05.....State Sen. Jason Crowell might actually be seeing things the way they are, at least when it comes to traffic surveilance cameras. The Missouri Senator wants to ban police cameras at intersections aimed at catching red-light violators. The cameras aren't that selective, though, and are aimed at whatever comes through the light at any speed. Big brother watching you? Maybe. Take notice when you go through the light...but watch your speed limit and the signal while looking. Once a person is caught on camera, they are stopped by robotic policeman nearby who requests proper identification and ensure that all information is correct before issuing a ticket. All right the last part is not true, but that is the problem with the cameras. The cars owner is fined, even if the owner isn't driving the car. Those supporting the cameras(i.e., city/county treasurers, politicians, judges who like to collect fines w/o evidence) believe the watchful automatic eyes make all motorists safer.

When Your Computers Heart is Achy

.......[c]2005 by Richard L Zorek......12.28.05.....Over the weekend I was sick and pretty close to death's door. (OK, maybe no where near the door.....but dreamed briefly that I saw the door open and through it was a bright light over the Jordan River as I floated up above all my family members coming to meet me as angelic choirs began to sing "Achy Breaky Heart" and I woke up immediately because no one wants to hear that song sung by anyone, let alone a choir). Well, they say the things that are closest to you begin to resemble you. Some people look like their dogs. Some like their cats. Some resemble their cars. There are some that look like those pink plastic swans that go in the front yard and I just don't know what that is all about.

In my "family" I guess it's the computer. It got a virus. Like me, neither of us had been sick for awhile.......and even when we are we usually aren't stopped by it. But, my browser got hijacked by this vicious little virus who was backed up by another one and when I thought I could delete him....he would develop again from some "exe" file. And I was sure I was hearing it say "you can tell my arms to go back to the farm and you can tell my feet to hit the floor...."in a very evil taunting kind of way. The only "insurance" it had on it was the Nortons and the bug knocked it out first. What do you when your first line of defense disappears? You get real mad. Anyway, about one day later and a lot of starts and restarts. I finally got it. Along with a host of other things inside my system and registry that I never knew was there. Quite the operation. I think the last thing I heard it say was "...tell my fingertips they won't be reaching out for you no more...." Then it was gone flushed into cyberspace to other virus family members that had passed on before it had. Now everything is back to normal. But, it is almost midnight and a new day is coming.......

Yahoo Geo Cities: Too Risky To Use! User Beware!

...[c]2005 by Richard L Zorek......12.27.05.....
I had a free website account a Geocities for many years. The I.D. was itea64050. It was originally established to deal with issues relating to the Independence Transportation Employees Association, a "wanna-be-union" that established its presence with the Independence School District school bus drivers. It also had some other school bus information. I was slowly using it less and less, but was still using it periodically. One day, I discovered the guest book disappeared and then found out that what was left was gone. I wrote them after I sifted through the links forever a long time trying to find a place to contact them. I listed this violation The violation is .........directed toward
Geocities for not making a better way to communicate with
you. I had pages at "itea64050" (yahoo ID) and they have
disappeared. WHY??????. Sean from Yahoo! Customer Care
wrote this back (standard response I presume):
Your Yahoo! account was disabled pursuant to the Yahoo! GeoCities Terms
of Service (TOS). You agreed to abide by the TOS when you created your
Yahoo! GeoCities account. Yada yada yada. But no explanation as to what was violated. So I wrote back: Looks like I need an attorney to figure out what your wrote here. You
specify a violation took place, but don't have any clue what it is. What
was it??? I do not believe there was one after 5 years. This time Kirk from Yahoo! Customer service sent me the exact same email that Sean did. Still no explanation. So, getting frustrated, I wrote back again:
Yada yada yada. You are telling me it was violated. WHAT was
violated???? WHAT? Ads in "w-h-a-t"? Do you understand?? "WHAT" was
violated. You have given me nothing except the TOS, which I already
read. Let me know, I am getting ready to cancel all the Yahoo stuff
because you apparently can't read. I can read fine I have read your
TOS.
You haven't told me how I VIOLATED your TOS?? Do you understand? Let me
write it real slow for you: w-h-a-t d-i-d I v-i-o-l-a-t-e??????


I could write you a letter and tell you I think your review system is
crazy, but unless I let you know what make me think you are crazy, you
won't know will you?. That should be clear. Well so, now I get an email from Justin at yahoo! customer service which started out different:
You are welcome to establish a new account with Yahoo! and Yahoo!
GeoCities at any time, provided that your use complies with our Terms
of
Service. I became convinced they have no explanation and I have no idea why they did it after five years. So, my suggestion to anyone who doesn't want to lose information without a reason.........or even with one, I guess, is to not uses Geocities. It's much too risky. And "customer service doesn't listen, or cant read anyway....Geo Cities Warning.

Almost The End (Moan....Whine....Cough)

......[c]2005 by Richard L Zorek......12.27.05.....
I will confess. When I get sick: I whine. When a little fraction of my immune system gives in just a little bit I am pretty sure I am about to breath my last. And anyone around me knows it because of the moans from the pain or the terrors I am facing (all right, so maybe it's just a cough and nasal drip, but it is still not pleasant). But, as I faced the inevitable end the last few days I, naturally, thought about things. But first, I should mention that I saw no one at the "Jordan" waiting for me and there was no bright lights. I didn't even see the Missouri River and the shades were pulled in my bedroom. I didn't float above my body, but I may have pretended to for a few moments but I think it was just those really good prescription pills. But it was a time to reflect as the end neared and I wondered about why God made those cockroaches in the first place. I don't have any here, and haven't seen any for awhile, but I know that they are out there somewhere....just doing "cocky" or "roachy" things. And for what purpose? I will have to ask God when I see Him about that. Surely God had a reason for it. I mean he allowed "West Wing" to be a hit TV show didn't he? Well, on second thought, I may need to ask Him about that, too.

Then I thought briefly about a miracle. Maybe if I die I could be raised from the dead. It has happened. Jesus did it. Others did in biblical history. Ted Kennedy clearly has been raised several times. So, why not me? The only thing I could think of was that I am not insured. So, that would be a problem. Being brought back to life might be a "health" related issue only covered on certain polices. And at this time, I am one of many Americans who doesn't have the luxury of medical insurance. Oh, I guess there are free clinics. That's what the rich folks say. They say "Oh you can get health care if you just go down to the clinic" so stop your whining. First off, those of us who are going to die don't like to be told to stop whining and shut up. Elvis' last words at his mutli-million dollar estate in Graceland were "I am going to the bathroom." Did anyone tell him to shut up? I don't think so. Whining may be the only thing sustaining us at the moment. In America, as they say, you often get what you pay for. So "free" is cheap. That's often what you get. Not to mention the wait you have trying to get into such a place if you can get in at all. Well, rich folks think we don't have anything better to do anyway and don't really want to be bothered with such issues because their time is better spent on the golf course and all they have to do is throw out a few extra dollars and they receive instant medical services from a variety of places.

So, does health belong to the rich? In America...I believe it does. The cost of prescriptions themselves is enough to break any average person without insurance. So what do they do? If they can't get to the "free" clinic, there isn't much they can do. I wish I had an optimistic way to end this, but I don't. But, my temperature is returning back to normal and I am off the NyQuil, so death doesn't seem as eminent as it was yesterday. I may have survived this round..........but me and the American Health system will meet again.

Hit Retro: Kansas City USA

.......[c]2005 by Richard L Zorek......12.22.05.....In the commercial world of media there's more talent that never makes it to the top than actually does. Often it appears to be the "politics" of who knows who and who has the money. But, talent can come from many places and often right under your own nose. And if you just took a look to see if there was something under your nose, you are not in this category. Local talent has always abounded in the Kansas City area. This area is ripe with budding jazz and blues artists. After all, this is Kansas City. Both Ellington and Basie played here in the early parts of their careers. But now we have entered the age of the Internet. And there are talents to be found here which have a Kansas City base. For example, there is Internet radio. Yes, we have commercial radio stations like 101 the Fox, and 98.9 The Planet, and even the self appointed prophet of liberalism, Lazlo (and his church of listeners who would probably rather listen to music but instead have to hear him ramble). I discovered an Internet venue called "Live 365," which hosts a large number of grassroots broadcasters. Some have talent, some just have a radio station on the Internet. Out of Lenexa, I found "Hit Retro USA," a little station put together by a guy named Steve Jarrott. As of this writing, he is now revamping the site and show has renamed it The Steve Jarrott Show (formerly Hit Retro USA. And since his name is Steve Jarrott and the name of the show is the "Steve Jarrott Show", it seems like more than just an incredible coincidence. It is very professional and worth a listen. Satirical to just off the wall...... it's good stuff. And I have talked to Steve, and aside from a little help help from his daughter, he is doing all the voices.

This is one example of what I think the Internet provides as a service. It levels the playing field to some degree and lets those who might not have had the opportunity before to express themselves and show the world wide web their talent.

Using Your Cell Phone While Chewing Gum

"...how could you
have the audacity to runinto me whileI am talking on the phone?...."

.......[c]2005 by Richard L Zorek......12.21.05.....Some people can't walk and chew gum at the same time. Or so I have heard. I have not surveyed those who were walking improperly to ask if they were chewing gum or not. I will leave that to the experts (who can get a government grant to look into it). I've hit on the issue of drivers with cell phones before. And I emphasis on "issue," as I have not ever actually hit a driver with a cell phone, though they make themselves such easy targets.

How about the cell phone user who isn't driving? Well, they are fine usually. But then there's the one who walks in front of you as you walk down the aisle at Walmart looking for falling prices. They suddenly stop in front of you or slow down and you bump into them. You realize they are on the phone and they just give you a look of disgust, while they keep talking. How could you have the audacity to run into me while I am talking on the phone? Or so they are thinking. Then there's the one in front of you in the line at the Quik Trip. It's bad enough that the one in front of him can't decide which lottery tickets to buy, but now when this guy gets up to the counter he has to try and hear the cashier, reach for his money, and keep the conversation going with his girlfriend all at the same time. And, by the way, none of us want to hear the conversation with the girlfriend. But rather than hang up, he has to impress us with his phone technique (or maybe with just that he has a girl friend) and slow us down while we wait for him to get done so we can get in and out of the convenience store quickly.

There are, of course, other situations. People with cell phones in theaters or church meetings or for that matter any kind of meeting where the phone user feels we might be interest in hearing his conversation on a cell phone. But, in case you didn't know it: we are not. So, learn how to use it properly and safely around others. Safely? Yes, because someone is going to take that cell phone and shove it where the sun don't shine of you don't exercise a little courtesy. Can you hear me now??

Have You Seen Him?

"suspect"

"suspect"

.......[c]2005 by Richard L Zorek......12.20.05.....
The FBI is looking for this man. He is suspected of robbing a Blue Springs bank. They released these pictures to help you. So, let's go over the description. He is black and white. He has light scaly skin that drapes over his body. He has no mouth or nose. Small dark eyes. I do not know why we shouldn't be able to all identify him with these pics. Call the proper authorites with the information.

The Absolute Positive Without-A-Doubt Truth About the JFK Assasination in Dallas.

.......[c]2005 by Richard L Zorek......12.19.05.....

The lone gunman who shot President Kennedy on that fateful day in November 1963 has been revealed to be Hollywood director, Oliver Stone. Stone's psychoanalyst, who remains anonymous, revealed this recently when he released Stone's files to the FBI.

Because Stone was a young boy at the time and because it would have made the secret service look like idiots, Stone's involvement was covered up and the blame pinned on Lee Harvey Oswald. When Oswald found out about the frame up, he was going to alert the media. At first, The FBI hired Elvis Presley to eliminate Oswald, but since he was busy recording an album, they hired Jack Ruby to eliminate Oswald.

According to Stone's psychological report, Stone remained silent for many years. The movie, "JFK," was an attempt to justify an unsettled conscience. He had also released the movie, "The Doors," which was an effort to deal with the drug problem he faced just after the shooting. Later came "Natural Born Killers" and it started to become clearer what that was all about.

Ludicrous? Maybe. But so are all the other theories.

I Read the News Today! Oh Boy...12.18.05

.......[c]2005 by Richard L Zorek......12.18.05.....
Notes I made as I read the Kansas City Star:....
Maybe if Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey had just stayed on TV and changed their shows name from "Newlyweds" to "Married for a Bit" they might not be getting a divorce now. Simpson filed officially last Friday, but clearly she could not have been full of happiness about it because she would have to lose some of her own ego to allow anything else to fit.....Westlake Ace Hardware has a "cozy bed" on the front page of it's ad for $14.99. It's a pet bed, of course. Have you gotten your pet something for Christmas?? And do dogs believe in a Santa dog, or is it Jesus' dogs birthday?? ......The travel section has an article about the Christmas lights in the Ozarks. A few details and no mention of Jesus or anything like that. Guess Jesus really doesn't fit into this holiday anymore anyway. A lot of churches embrace Santa as their savior this time of year, also. Jesus is just too controversial for them....Kansas City Chiefs lose again. This time to the Giants. Tell me again why we need to spend a fortune to build a stadium for a Super Bowl??......The "Parade" section lists the best and worst of this year. The best college weekend is listed as a academic symposium in West Long Branch, New Jersey, which was devoted entirely to Bruce Springsteen. More than 150 scholars dissected everything from his career. The startling news about this? These kids are your future....that list has a lot of interesting oddities, including the kid who has been wearing the same clothes for 723 days. I would presume the smell would make the parents take notice....

Golden Globes of Hollywood

.......[c]2005 by Richard L Zorek......12.17.05....
Golden Globe nominees were announced:.

Some of the notable are "Pride and Prejudice" up for "Picture, Musical Or Comedy" (I guess they end up in that category of they can't decide what they were trying to make...but at least if you fail at one, it might still slide into one of the others). "Walk the Line" is in the same category. Johnny and June, or Reese Witherspoon and Joaquin Pheonix are nominated as best actor and actress. If they win, the awards banquet will be at Folsom Prison. Laura Linney is also up for her role in "Pride and Prejudice."

Willie Wonka, or at least the one played by Johnny Depp is competing against Joaquin for his role in "Charlie and the Chocolate factory." Nathan Lane is also nominated for his role in "The Producers." Will Farrell stepped out of his little role in "The Elf" (get it, huh?) and is nominated for acting in "The Producers."

In TV, "Commander in Chief" is up for nomination as drama series. Hillary Clinton will enjoy it if this shows wins. Geena Davis is also nominated as best actress in a drama series. Kiefer Sutherland is nominated for his role in "24" and the Golden Globe show may have to be shot in real time. "Desperate Housewives," of course, is nominated. "Curb Your Enthusiasm" is also nominated but I don't know how it got under the comedy category. I would have put it under foreign film. Marcia Cross, Teri Hatcher, Felicity Huffman, Eva Longoria, all "Desperate Housewives" compete against each other as best actress, oh yes, and against Mary-Louis Parker for "Weeds." Zach Braff got a nominations for "Scrubs" and Steve Carell for "The Office", and one of the two men, Charlie Sheen for "Two and a Half Men."

Winners will be announced January 16th and hopefully Joan Rivers will be on the red carpet to help keep egos in check.

At What Price Academia?

.......[c]2005 by Richard L Zorek......12.16.05.....Missouri State University's board of governors are just a bunch of racists. Or that is the impression one might get after the board passed a proposal to cut men's indoor and outdoor track, men's cross country and men's and women's tennis. This cut will save a projected $350,000 to $500,000 annually. Racist? For that?? The Springfield chapter of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People said the civil rights organization opposed the cuts because it would affect minority athletes. "How can you tell students that you are interested in the increase of diversity when you seemingly so eagerly want to eliminate those sports?" the Rev. Larry Maddox (NAACP) told the board.

My question is whatever happened to going to school to learn stuff related to getting a degree and trying to get a good paying job somewhere?? Why were they ever paying that much for these sports anyway? At what cost academia?? I guess that may be a racist question, though.

God's Subpeona

"...the subpeona commands
God to release records and communications about the storm, why He had allowed it...."

......[c]2005 by Richard L Zorek......12.15.05.....
A House committee investigating the government's response to Hurricane Katrina issued a subpoena to God, to turn over documents. It stopped short of sending a similar legal demand to Jesus. The subpoena commands God to release records and communications about the storm, and possibly testify about why He allowed it, and whether He had let anyone in the government know about it. Louisiana Governor Kathleen Blanco (a Democrat)and the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA)exchanged barbs with Republicans on the committee about why the city was not ordered evacuated until the storm hit. Basically, the confrontation went like this: Republicans: "yes you did." Blanco/FEMA: "no, I didn't."Republicans: "yes you did." Blanco/FEMA: "no, I didn't." Republicans: "yes you did." Blanco/FEMA: "no, I didn't." Republicans: "yes you did." Blanco/FEMA: "no, I didn't." No one budged.

The House, in it's continuing effort to find people to blame for stuff, says God will clear this all up once and for all or go down trying. A spokesman from the Citizens Against House Committees With Way Too Much Free Time On Their Hands Foundation (CAHCWWTMFTOTHF), said it was "inevitable that they would eventually single out God a culprit. He has a pretty good image and these political committees love to tarnish reputations." Another spokesman from the House Committee said it was hoped that God would not be implicated in something of this magnitude because, "well, frankly, we don't know how we could punish Him." If the House can add the Almighty to it's list of people to blame, one suggestion is that they force Him to watch 72 hours of the House Committee in session, but issues before the Supreme Court on torture may stop that from ever happening.

As of this writing, the House had not yet reached God with the subpeona because no one from congress had ever tried to contact Him before and weren't sure how to do it.

Call Someone Who Cares!

.......[c]2005 by Richard L Zorek......12.14.05.....
Want to protest the war? Don't pay all your phone bill! SBC has got to love that piece of information. Actually, the portion to not pay is a small percentage, usually about 3 percent, and it is the federal phone tax. Proceeds from the tax help fund US military ventures. One tax resistance organization that, ironically, calls themselves the National War Tax Resistance Coordinating Committee says they don't know for sure how many are actually withholding, but based on communications they have received....they think about 10,000 nationwide. Did they receive those communications by phone?? The government listens when money is involved. At least they listen if it is their money involved. (If it's yours, they could care less if you were using two tin cans on a string.) The phone companies are writing off the nonpayments to the IRS, and are telling the IRS they will have to collect since it is their tax. But, they are telling their customers that they will have to report them. An IRS spokesman said the IRS is determined to identify all those who evade taxes "based on their opposition to government policies or programs." He said that people could be liable for all past payments, plus interest. I think the IRS isn't getting the message, because clearly if there was interest, the people would be paying.

Silly Love Songs

.......[c]2005 by Richard L Zorek......12.13.05..... Paul McCartney and Wings, back in 1976, posed the question "Why do we want to fill the world with silly love songs?" And there's a lot of them with the "operative" word being "silly."

"All I need is there air that I breathe and to love you" says the Hollies song. Unless the "you" was steak and potatoes, that love probably didn't last past suppertime. David Cassidy and the Partridge Family woke up from a dream and thought "I think love you." He "thinks" he does? From what I understand, the girls response was "well, when you know for sure, let me know." Barry White said "You're my first, My last, My Everything" and "Can't Get enough of your Love babe." Those are the kinds of sentiments that restraining orders are made of. Rod Stewart said "You're in my heart, You're in my soul.." Is that healthy? What is the cholesterol count for love and how much can the heart take? And just how does it get into the soul? The Stylistics sang "You're my everything and everything is you." Which may not be flattering. Everything encompasses a lot. Actually it encompasses everything. A big fat pig is part of everything. Make sure you understand the intent of the singer.

The list could actually go on and on because there is so many. But I think the definitive is the Beatles "All You Need is Love" because shortly after they sang it...they broke up.

Tonganoxie, Kansas: Land of....well......ummmm They have a Newspaper!

"...it is only fair
that she give a small percentage tothe person from the IRS...."

.......[c]2005 by Richard L Zorek......12.12.05.....If you watched "Survivor: Guatemala" this year you saw 36 people competing for one million dollars, with at least two of them being eliminated each week. Up front on TV, we usually only saw the original 18, but secretly helping each one of them was their own personal helper from the IRS. They knew, that by helping their contestant that they had something to gain. And sure enough, Danni Boatright, from Tonganoxie, Kansas won the million and it is only fair that she give a small percentage to the person from the IRS who secretly helped her. That actually sounds more fair than the real scenario which is that the IRS will probably take about 20 to 25% of her winnings.....and they didn't even have to compete. They just have to hold out their hand and beg. Well, it would probably seem more fair if they did that, also, but instead they send you notices and with little "fine-print" policies about how if you do not pay them what they want you will be penalized. (you know, take your first born and all your cattle)

And 30 year old Danni Boatright put Tonganoxie on the map. Well, it has actually been on the map for over a century, but it might give it fifteen minutes of fame it hasn't had in awhile. It put the word "Tonganoxie" on the front page of today's Kansas City Star. And it even got a more prominent placement on the front of the Tonganoxie paper (The Mirror) then did the snow storm. (I am assuming that the word "Tonganoxie" was already on the fron page of that paper). I don't know her, and to be honest, I did not watch the show, but congratulations to her, a local person from the Kansas City area. {Ed Note: I am glad this little article is over because "Tonganoxie" isn't in spell check].

I Read the News Today! Oh Boy...12.11.05

......[c]2005 by Richard L Zorek......12.11.05.....
Notes I made as I read the Kansas City Star:....If Joseph Lieberman of Connecticut was running for President today I might vote for him. In his comments about the war in Iraq, he said about fellow Democrats "We undermine the president's credibility at our nations' peril." President Bush may have his own issues, but the key words are "our nation's peril..." Well said, Mr Lieberman. I am becoming dis-amused by the armchair generals who are espousing opinions about what is wrong in Iraq and why we shouldn't be there. Unless they had that same opinion and declared it BEFORE we went to war...I am not interested anymore. No one with any sense goes to war and then thinks "whoops, we can't win.....let's go home." I take that back....when I was playing "army" with my 8 year old friends we did that, but we just stomped into the house and bawled a little.............Have the elves been retired? I notice the ad for Nebraska Furniture Mart says "Santa Shops Here!" I presume they have to fall under some "truth in advertising" polices, so Santa must really shop there. I have never seen him there unless he is incognito. It's looking like the Christmas story about the elves is going to change in the future and pretty soon Santa will be getting all his stuff from various stores. Why Kansas City? Must be that Nascar track or something.....There's a 4 page section about the Kansas and Missouri Schools assessment tests reports. I read it, but don't know what I read. Glad I didn't have to take the test if it is as hard to understand as the results. And what do the results mean? Means if you didn't read the question right, you may have embarrassed your whole school district and now the whole state and now God is probably got some words to say to you, buddy......

Country Lovin

..........[c]2005 by Richard L Zorek........12.10.05.......
Country music stars are a little disappointing to me, but I guess they are no different from the rest of the world, except we all don't wear cowboy hats and drive pickup trucks. Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood were married today in Oklahoma. She's in Love with the boy, I guess (How could I NOT use that line?). The sad thing is that I remember when Brooks first came on the music scene and how he talked about how important his relationship with his wife was. When he said that his wife's name was not Trisha. He seemed so wholesome and took the country music scene by storm. But he always stressed he had to have time with his wife. Then along came Yearwood....and the next thing you know they are both divorcing their spouses and end up together. What a coincidence that is, right? Amy Grant and Vince Gill did the same thing.

I might enjoy some of their music, but have little to no respect for what they are doing. Their new marriages will be celebrated on all the country music magazines (and probably the Enquirer because the Enquirer celebrates everything from marriages to alien births), but what we won't hear about is that Brooks and Yearwood left spouses behind. So did Gill and Grant. We won't hear about the pain that created unless someone writes a tell-all book, which I think is probably past time for in the country music world. I have become quite the prude I guess because I was bothered by the movie "Walk the Line" because I didn't know Johnny and June had a relationship before Johnny and his first wife were divorced. Cash was always a music idol of mine, but he has lost some devotion from me. Celebrities walk in and out of marriages like they were nothing because they have the money to do it, like what was that Chesney/Zellwegger thing?? And how many country music stars is Lorrie Morgan going to marry..and will she eventually get back to Garth? The tragedy is the legacy they leave behind and the trails of broken homes and lives. Try writing a "cryin in your beer" song about that.

Conditionally Looking for Love

"I can't love a man without a BMW"

.......[c]2005 by Richard L Zorek......12.09.05..... Since I became aware of the lawsuit against a couple major online personal/dating sites, I have been doing some digging around in various online dating sites. Some of the profiles are amusing, but I am easily amused sometimes. Here's a few of the common comments on profiles: (italics comments mine).

1. "Those who want to play games need not apply." However, if one is going to play games, they are not going to admit they are, are they?

2. "I am looking for love and romance." However, you need to be making enough money. Love doesn't grow on trees you know. Please send credit references.

3. "If you don't have a picture posted I will not respond." I am not shallow, just can't be seen communicating with someone that doesn't appeal to me or the world. There isn't any reason why you can't post a picture on the world wide web for the whole world to see.

4. "I am so busy I have no time to find someone." However, I can spend a lot of time on computer emailing and chatting.

5. "No drug users or abusers please." I can tell by the way you email whether you do or don't.........don't slur your "send" button...

6. Some have a pictures on profile. Please notice I have only used my best pictures. I failed to put up the ones that show me just waking up or before I had coffee. But glamor shots I used are the way I look all the time. Perky, perky, perky!. Some of them puts pics of them standing next to fancy cars or motorcycles. I may not have personality, but look at my BMW..now what do you think?

7. They list where they are from usually. Sorry, but Johnson County, particularly around Overland Park, seems to be loaded with quite a few "snobs." I live in a well-to-do neighborhood and don't have time for people outside my social class. I make a lot of money and anyone who makes less then me just can't be "in." So don't bother me with your ice-breakers if you are not part of the "in" group.

8. Then they put a long list of things they are looking for in a mate. Surely, by listing a big list of requirements for the "other" that I am looking for will make that "other" find me easier.

9. I am just a wonderful and beautiful person. (No kidding, some go out and say that.) That's why I am here. Because I am so wonderful that the people in my day to day life seem to be just missing it.But I wrote it here and now you know it's true
.
10. I like intimacy. Usually means, I like sex, but I will go through dating ritual until I get it, then decide whether to drop you after that Women will fare better as far as contacts, because there are more men out there playing games and looking to get some of this "intimacy."

I will end this "look" at these sights shortly and publish my findings. I got removed from one because I told them they were not being honest about what a person is paying for. They did refund me though after I reminded them about the issues going on in the lawsuits. Sometimes knowing something helps.

Bulletin: Mariah Carey and Paul McCartney: Not Dead!

"...Kellly Clarkson got a nomination
for her album "Breakaway" and word has it that she didn'thave to sleep with Paula Abdul to get it"

......[c]2005 by Richard L Zorek......12.08.05.....
Nominations for Grammy Awards were announced today. Mariah Carey, who was supposed to be dead, turns out not to be and got several nominations, including record and album of the year ("The Emancipation of Mimi"). Music veteran and legend, Paul McCartney, got a nomination for album of the year for "Chaos and Creation in the Back Yard." Apparently he is not dead either. Song of the year nominations also went to a country group, Rascall Flatts, for "Bless This Broken Road." Interestingly, veteran perfomers still rise to the occasion with nominations going to McCartney, Stevie Wonder (though he doesn't have plans to be there to see the show), U2, Earth Wind and Fire (there's about 8 guys in that band but they only named three of them....never understood that...and which one of them is "Earth," by the way) Bruce Springsteen, and even the Rolling Stones who are touring and being sponsored by Budweiser and Geritol. Neil Young got a nomination under the rock album category for "Prairie Wind." The first American idol, Kelly Clarkson, got a nomination for her album "Breakaway," and word has it that she didn't have to sleep with Paula Abdul to get it. Gretchen Wilson got a nomination for country album (All Jacked Up), which helps out with seating issues at the Grammy show because the other country contenders don't even have to bother showing up. Ciara, Fall Out Boy, Keane, John Legend, SugarLand are 5 artists I never heard of, but they are nominated as best new artist....oh, wait, I get it they are new...OK, that's why I never heard of them. Though it may be an Urban Legend, the one who wins this nomination usually bottoms out with this award and they are never heard from again. So, I am sure they are all hoping to lose. And 50 Cent got a nomination for best rap album, which I would think would increase his value to at least a dollar.

The Farmlands of Overland Park

....[c]2005 by Richard L Zorek......12.07.05.....

Though most probably are not, there are some Johnson County residents who think they are all that and then some. Hopefully their delusions never carry outside of their Overland Park or Olathe compounds. Some people are born with silver spoons in their mouths, some work to get it there. I say, of both, that they look silly with those spoons hanging of their mouths. I have lived in Johnson County now for several months and I know that when I use the restroom, it still smells (putting that politely:-). One family in Overland Park acquired three chicks...which have now grown into three chickens.

How do the elite of Johnson County handle such a thing? "I don't want my hometown to be considered out in the sticks," said one neighbor.
What does this person know about the sticks? Is she stereotyping people who live in the sticks as being something negative. But, most importantly, where the heck is "the sticks?" It's not even a place. It's a bunch of twigs.

"If we let these people have chickens, then next year we'll have cows, pigs and horses," said another neighbor. She must not know her neighbors very well, or misjudges them, because it is not likely on anyones mind to go buy a horse, cow or pig. So I don't know why this statement would be true. Unless chickens produce cows, pigs or horses. I have not seen an egg hatched, but I presumed that none of these come in them. I have nothing against cows, pigs, horses, chickens or sticks. I will not make a good Overland Park resident.

Great Expectations!

Blue Springs South

......[c]2005 by Richard L Zorek......12.06.05.....The Blue Springs School Board held its monthly meeting yesterday. They are one of 8 districts in the state to score a perfect (100 points) on the states annual performance report in the last five years. And you know what that means: A lot of gold stars for everyone!!!

They also considered some policy revisions. In addition to the current "civility policy" (did you know there was such a thing?), they will add "district staff will expect civility from the public at all times." So, they are not to hope for civility...they are to expect it. Expectation is a requirement.....part of the new policy. Anything else is in violation of school board policy. And when should they expect it? At all times!!! Can such a policy be made? It seems to me that it steps beyond the boundaries of the school district and into the realm of "everyone," if the word "public" is to be taken literal. And am I breaking the policy by purposely over-examining it right now? I am public. Am I being civil enough?? Did it have to be said? I mean, unless there was a policy that it is replacing that said they are to expect "rudeness," I can't imagine anyone expecting anything else.

Now, can I make such a policy? I mean my life has to have some rules and boundaries. Maybe I should expect "civility" from everyone also. That would not make SBC happy, because they wouldn't recognize my policy. And if I get a girlfriend, is violation of that policy grounds for a break up? If they need something in writing, why not the golden rule. You know, "Whoever has all the gold makes the rules." No, wait, I think it's "Gold in the hand is worth a couple bushel." No, that's not right either. I believe it's "treat others as you would treat yourself." I don't know where the "gold" comes in, but anyway, you know what I mean.

This Isn't Florida..

"...This new sandwich
reminds of us of how.. awesome those voters are at voting in Kansas City!....."

.......[c]2005 by Richard L Zorek......12.05.05.....

Kansas City's election board wants to replace their current voting system. For about 30 years, Kansas Citians have been going to polls and using the punch cards to cast ballots. We aren't Floridians, after all, so we know how to punch a hole in a piece of cardboard. In fact, if Subways wants to make up for their negative promo signs about Kansas, they could issue one that says: This new sandwich reminds us of how awesome those voters are at voting in Kansas City!" (Obviously...I am not writing for an advertisement company).

The board made the decision despite concerns that staff members who said poll workers would have to learn how to operate the new voting machines. What has become of our sense of adventure and responsibity? When the punch card came in 30 years ago did they say "I dont think we could because people would have to learn how to punch a card." And if they did, I am sure the person who said it has long since moved to Florida.

The new system is supposed to be cost effective. The least expensive proposal would cost less than $2 million. The federal government will pay for the touch-screen machines plus most of the cost to replace existing punch-card systems with optical scan so the cost to local taxpayers would be less than $35,000. I am presuming that they dont mean each taxpayer and that the number is cumulative. If it is then I will donate $1.95 for a new punch card. I would hate to have to take out a bank loan just to vote. But the board hasn't picked out a vendor yet for its new machines.

Surely they will check with Sprint and see if they have something because they own most of Kansas City anyway. I still think the best voting method would be through Sprint by using those numbers they used for "American Idol." The candidates could perform: do a song and dance ( a new one we haven't seen or heard yet from a politician) and then we could vote and do eliminations every week until there is only one candidate left. That person would become president and they could throw in a record deal also.

I Read the News Today! Oh Boy...12.04.05

.......[c]2005 by Richard L Zorek......12.04.05.....
Notes I made as I read the Kansas City Star:....Kansas City School District is searching for a superintendent to replace Bernard Taylor. They said this week that first they need "to agree on a vision first." They said that this week. How long has this school district been around? And how long has their been problems with accreditation and other issues? And they are just now figuring out they need a "common vision?" I think they inadvertently answered what is the whole crux of the problem: they do not know where they are going. Welcome to the club. Neither do we. . ........
The Target ad has a picture of a Baby Bratz doll on a bike (for $16.98), to go along with the other "Bratz" line of dolls. All I want to know is what is up with these freaky looking dolls? I have seen in some stores where they are replacing space once occupied by Barbie. Now, if Barbie were a real girl she might be attractive (Oh no, I have been alone too long, haven't I?). But if these Bratz dolls were real, they would be just scary to be around. When I see them I just think of Chucky and believe that these are the kids that he and Bride of Chucky had. .........

Wyandotte Prison Blues

.......[c]2005 by Richard L Zorek......12.03.05.....
It's time for me to renew my license again. My last name starts with a "Z", so I have to do it in December. I find that kind of irritating, but then I remember back to the days up in South Dakota when everybody's license expired at the end of December. Needless to say those lines in the courthouse were very long in the last weeks before expiration. This time I go to Johnson County. Last year Wyandotte County welcomed me to the state (from the Missouri side), by having me handcuffed and ready to be taken in by the Sheriffs Department because they seemed to think that my insurance card wasn't any good. Actually, they didn't think. If they would have thought, they would have called the right numbers in. It was a humiliating experience for me, and the lesson of experience was: Wyandotte County Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) people are just loony tunes. I know there should be some nobler lesson...like forgive and forget and alls well that ends well, and after all, I wasn't arrested after they figured out they were wrong. But they never apologized. Now the head of the office did send a half-hearted apology via email, but it was only after they were contacted by a news reporter about the issue. So, I don't consider that an apology at all. That was just some PR. I was driving a truck for Deffenbaugh at the time and just happened to have the day off because I needed time to take care of business. Most of the business that day ended up being talking to reporters and showing up on a few TV reports. That incident didn't give me much reassuring confidence in county government. In fact made me more leery. So, before I go to the DMV to get my Johnson County plates, I will get all my affairs in order. Make sure the bills are paid and put on clean underwear in case and good boots in case I end up in prison. My insurance is good, of course, but that didn't make any difference to Wyandotte County. I will be humming this tune:

I hear the clerk a coming, shes coming round the bend,
she thinks I'm not insured, so "handcuffed" again
...I'm stuck in County Prison
...and time keeps movin on
......but when they figure out their error...
out of here I'll tear.
I bet theres clerks a chattin in a coffee break down there....
I'll bet they're drinkin coffee and lookin everywhere....
they're looking for a victim...
someone to send to jail......
I just hope they skip me this time...
cuz that would torture me....

Driving My Life Away

Welcome to KC!

.......[c]2005 by Richard L Zorek......12.02.05..... Want an adventure that will change every time you do it and probably has far more options than the latest action video game? Try driving across Kansas City using any of the major highways. This morning I got caught in traffic at Antioch and 435 to begin with. The construction isn't really on the highway as much as it is to the overpass, but I have come to the conclusion that those orange signs that say "construction" have some dizzying affect on drivers and they feel the need to slow down and look at what it going on. That will then back everyone else up to who are now forced to look. Then I got caught in traffic on I-35 that went very slow from Cambridge Circle to the Broadway exit. Then, I got caught in traffic around the construction that was going on between Noland Road on I-70 in Independence out to about the Woods Chapel exit in Blue Springs. They weren't actually working on the road, though they had two left lanes marked off with orange markers, but there was only a truck and about 20 crew members filling a a forty foot section near Woods Chapel. (3 miles of highway blocked off so they could work on that 20 foot section???). On the way back, I opted to get off on 40 highway to avoid that mess and met the mess of traffic coming from the other way trying to avoid the previous mess. And there was a lighted sign at 40 Highway and Salsa Road that said "Striping Highways: Monday thru Friday." If they really do it that much, those highways should be very striped. They were putting a coat of stripes down at the 291 exit off 40 highway. If they are going to re-stripe, I would go with the "down under" zebra look, but this was just "Traditional American Freeway Orange." Just after that was the trucks and construction zone in front of the Bass Pro shop being built there.

OK, what is my point? Reliving the adventure made me forget. No wait......I remember. This is typical driving in Kansas City anymore. Once a new section of road is prepared, then another needs it, so it will match up with the new road. There is no quick way, anymore. You are bound to run into "Road Work Ahead" signs somewhere. Followed by "45 MPH in Construction Zone." I believe the reason for that is because if you hit a construction worker at 45 MPH he will bounce back up (must be the hat). But if you hit him at a faster speed.....it is not good. And then, fines are doubled for speeding. And I have never figured out why they are called "fines," because if you get one it is not fine. It kind of sucks, actually. Maybe it's just "fine" for the counties, because they get the money. So they must enjoy construction tickets because they are "really fine."

I have a dream. Of a drive around greater Kansas City without obstruction. No orange cones. No detours. No "construction ahead" signs. But alas my dream is too big and hurts my brain to comprehend. So I must end. End Article.

It's Not Like It's Jesus' Birthday or Anything..

"...What are you waiting
for?....Why are you still reading this? Shouldn't you be shopping?....."

.......[c]2005 by Richard L Zorek......12.01.05.....

Today is December 1. You have 24 shopping days til Christmas. If you read this tomorrow, then you have 23. The day after, you have 22. You may want to print this article and use it to calculate the days left. No need to thank me. It's just a service I provide.

This is the season to be jolly and spend. So spend happy. The retail community depends on you. They make or break their budget this time of year. This season makes up for any loss they have experienced up to now. This will pay for their overhead including wages. So........you are helping a large part of the population that works in the retail industry. And they in turn are providing for their families and loved ones. So......you are also helping families. And they are the backbone of America. So, do the patriotic thing and go out and shop. The more you spend and shop the more patriotic you are. If you don't spend anything.........get out of our country. It's un-American. Go back to the backward country and cesspool that you crawled out of. That's why God made this season, so that you could show your patriotism. This is more important even than the fourth of July. What are you waiting for? Why are you still reading this? Shouldn't you be shopping. Or least surf to eBay? Buy buy buy!!!!

Oh yes, and if you don't have anyone to shop for, then you should probably just go ahead and buy me something. It's OK. I will put myself on the line like this just so you can be a part of this patriotic season. Once again, no need to thank me. Just email me if you are unsure about what I might like to have. Thank you.

The Nobility of the Overland Park City Council

.......[c]2005 by Richard L Zorek......11.30.05.....
I've never understood why neighborhoods aren't allowed to decide what they will allow in them and what they won't. Take me, for example. Any neighborhood that would allow me in it, probably doesn't have very high standards. But, I guess that would be discrimination against Polish-American Caucasians and I am really not in the mood to be suing people over it anyway. But what about buildings? Walmart has a long history of pushing their way into neighborhoods when the neighbors don't want them. After all, they believe you are not only entitled to get a good price on merchandise, but they believe you should be FORCED to take it! Don't be making them send that door greeter out to get you. They are scary enough walking in the door sometimes, let alone having to have them come to your front door and telling you "Thanks You for going to Walmart....and I mean right now!"

How about if the brute is your own city government? Unfortunately, not uncommon. City councils and planning commissions across the country are always doing "what's best" for neighborhoods by either using eminent domain laws, or just building stuff that the neighborhoods don't want. The motive, of course, is always money........but in their noble political doublespeak, they will always say it is for the best of the neighborhood. Take, for instance, the area around 71st and Metcalf in Overland Park. The people in the neighborhood don't want a four story apartment building there. They put out petitions and even went to the planning commission meeting. Did their efforts work? Of course not. Two of the councilmen voted against it and deserve proper recognition: Janie Thacker and Charles Hunter. The other members caved in. And they, as is with councils across the country, give the old excuse "it may not be a perfect plan, but it's the best we got." No, the best you had was to listen to the people of the neighborhood who do not want it there. These councilmen do not live there.....but they should be representing the ones who do.

I Don't See Enough of William McKinley!

one of many

.......[c]2005 by Richard L Zorek......11.26.05.....I see dead people. Every time I use money. There's dead people all over it. And they are on the postage stamp, too! I guess there's some policy that says you can't be honored on a stamp unless you are deceased. So if you ever go to the post office and see a stamp with your picture on it you can feel honored...but then you should probably start freaking out.

Besides being dead, the other common denominator on the money is that they were all famous. For example, the one dollar bill has George Washington on it. He is known as the "father of the cherry trees." When they were building Washington DC and the White Cabin (Before it became a House), there was a bunch of cherry trees in the way. George cut them all down and said "I cannot tell a lie, I cut the cherry trees down." People were happy and they made him president so he could live in the White Cabin which wouldn't have happened without his diligence.

Then there's Abraham Lincoln on the five dollar bill. He is famous for being shot in a theater. When he became president the civil war started. It wasn't really civil, because they used guns and bayonets and cannons and such, but I guess they were just killed each other politely.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt is on the dime. He was president during World War II and is famous for actually admitting to everyone that his middle name was "Delano."

The ten dollar bill has Alexander Hamilton, the guy that invented the blender. And the twenty dollar bill has Andrew Jackson on it who is famous for having a county named after him. Benjamin Franklin is on the one hundred dollar bill and all he did was go fly a kite. So, you shouldn't be bothered if someone tells you to "go fly a kite." William McKinley is on the five hundred dollar bill and he is famous for being a trivia question that no one knows the answer to.

And you thought this website wasn't educational?