The Way I Heard It 01.07.07

......[c]2007 by
Richard L Zorek

.........01.07.07............Momofuku Ando, the creator of instant noodles has died in Tokyo. His body was prepared with water and boiled for one minute before burial...... ...........A tape was found in England which is appearing to be a recording of Jimi Hendrix performing the "Welsh National Anthem," recorded after his famous "Star Spangled Banner" performance at Woodstock. The French found one where he is doing "Le Marseillaise," the French National Anthem, and the Russians found one where he is doing "National Anthem of the Russian Federation." Nancy Pelosi found one in her own attic of him doing "I Am Woman.".................Sylvester Stallone has agreed to pay insurance premiums and wages for all illegal Mexicans in America. He said this after condemning actions to put a fence up between the US and Mexico saying "I support Mexicans who work in my country." He suggested he would donate all the profit off of Rocky Part 7, 8, 9 and 10. At least that's the way I heard it...........

The Way I Heard It 01.03.07

.......[c]2007 by
Richard L Zorek

.........01.03.07............The video that was shot of the Saddam Hussein hanging is considered so reprehensible and offensive that Fox, CNN, and MSNBC are playing it over and over again just to show how reprehensible and offensive it is. The convicted co-defendants in the case are to be hanged also as soon as a better filming device can be found so that Fox, MSNBC and CNN can show how reprehensible and offensive this hanging will be also..............The big stores are pushing excercise equipment now that the holiday season is over. Apparently everyone gained wieght over the holiday season whether you know it or not. Kathy Wolf has been excercising and selling equipment for two days on HSN and today she really looks good. But she looked good two days ago, also. People like her who don't need to lose weight are the ones who show the exercise equipment. Apparently HSN couldnt get Rosie O Donnell to make a guest appearance as she was busy considering who or what she could insult on the next episode of "The View".............Pat Robertson has announced that God told him there will be a mass killing in the United States in 2007 but God did not tell him which denomination they would be from so he wasn't sure if it was going to be a tragic loss or not. He said God told him it might be in a major city. Real estate agents report that people are trying to buy homes in Pat Robertsons neighborhood. Robertson's track record on predictions isn't 100% as he admits he has made some "error," though each time reporting that "God told me." That would make it Gods error and in Levitical law if a prophet prophesies falsely he or she is to be stoned. Robertson admits that he cannot find a big enough stone to throw at God.... .............TV Evangelist Darlene Bishop is being sued for reporting in a book that God had cured her brother of cancer. Her brother, who died from cancer, could not be reached for comment..................Reuters headline reads: "British teenager Sails into Atlantic Record Books." The teen was apparently trying to sail across the Atlantic Ocean but ran into this great big book......which ended his effort. "Luckily the book didn't close on me," he said, "or I would have been just a bookmark in history." At least that's the way I heard it........