Wyandotte Prison Blues

.......[c]2005 by Richard L Zorek......12.03.05.....
It's time for me to renew my license again. My last name starts with a "Z", so I have to do it in December. I find that kind of irritating, but then I remember back to the days up in South Dakota when everybody's license expired at the end of December. Needless to say those lines in the courthouse were very long in the last weeks before expiration. This time I go to Johnson County. Last year Wyandotte County welcomed me to the state (from the Missouri side), by having me handcuffed and ready to be taken in by the Sheriffs Department because they seemed to think that my insurance card wasn't any good. Actually, they didn't think. If they would have thought, they would have called the right numbers in. It was a humiliating experience for me, and the lesson of experience was: Wyandotte County Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) people are just loony tunes. I know there should be some nobler lesson...like forgive and forget and alls well that ends well, and after all, I wasn't arrested after they figured out they were wrong. But they never apologized. Now the head of the office did send a half-hearted apology via email, but it was only after they were contacted by a news reporter about the issue. So, I don't consider that an apology at all. That was just some PR. I was driving a truck for Deffenbaugh at the time and just happened to have the day off because I needed time to take care of business. Most of the business that day ended up being talking to reporters and showing up on a few TV reports. That incident didn't give me much reassuring confidence in county government. In fact made me more leery. So, before I go to the DMV to get my Johnson County plates, I will get all my affairs in order. Make sure the bills are paid and put on clean underwear in case and good boots in case I end up in prison. My insurance is good, of course, but that didn't make any difference to Wyandotte County. I will be humming this tune:

I hear the clerk a coming, shes coming round the bend,
she thinks I'm not insured, so "handcuffed" again
...I'm stuck in County Prison
...and time keeps movin on
......but when they figure out their error...
out of here I'll tear.
I bet theres clerks a chattin in a coffee break down there....
I'll bet they're drinkin coffee and lookin everywhere....
they're looking for a victim...
someone to send to jail......
I just hope they skip me this time...
cuz that would torture me....

Driving My Life Away

Welcome to KC!

.......[c]2005 by Richard L Zorek......12.02.05..... Want an adventure that will change every time you do it and probably has far more options than the latest action video game? Try driving across Kansas City using any of the major highways. This morning I got caught in traffic at Antioch and 435 to begin with. The construction isn't really on the highway as much as it is to the overpass, but I have come to the conclusion that those orange signs that say "construction" have some dizzying affect on drivers and they feel the need to slow down and look at what it going on. That will then back everyone else up to who are now forced to look. Then I got caught in traffic on I-35 that went very slow from Cambridge Circle to the Broadway exit. Then, I got caught in traffic around the construction that was going on between Noland Road on I-70 in Independence out to about the Woods Chapel exit in Blue Springs. They weren't actually working on the road, though they had two left lanes marked off with orange markers, but there was only a truck and about 20 crew members filling a a forty foot section near Woods Chapel. (3 miles of highway blocked off so they could work on that 20 foot section???). On the way back, I opted to get off on 40 highway to avoid that mess and met the mess of traffic coming from the other way trying to avoid the previous mess. And there was a lighted sign at 40 Highway and Salsa Road that said "Striping Highways: Monday thru Friday." If they really do it that much, those highways should be very striped. They were putting a coat of stripes down at the 291 exit off 40 highway. If they are going to re-stripe, I would go with the "down under" zebra look, but this was just "Traditional American Freeway Orange." Just after that was the trucks and construction zone in front of the Bass Pro shop being built there.

OK, what is my point? Reliving the adventure made me forget. No wait......I remember. This is typical driving in Kansas City anymore. Once a new section of road is prepared, then another needs it, so it will match up with the new road. There is no quick way, anymore. You are bound to run into "Road Work Ahead" signs somewhere. Followed by "45 MPH in Construction Zone." I believe the reason for that is because if you hit a construction worker at 45 MPH he will bounce back up (must be the hat). But if you hit him at a faster speed.....it is not good. And then, fines are doubled for speeding. And I have never figured out why they are called "fines," because if you get one it is not fine. It kind of sucks, actually. Maybe it's just "fine" for the counties, because they get the money. So they must enjoy construction tickets because they are "really fine."

I have a dream. Of a drive around greater Kansas City without obstruction. No orange cones. No detours. No "construction ahead" signs. But alas my dream is too big and hurts my brain to comprehend. So I must end. End Article.

It's Not Like It's Jesus' Birthday or Anything..

"...What are you waiting
for?....Why are you still reading this? Shouldn't you be shopping?....."

.......[c]2005 by Richard L Zorek......12.01.05.....

Today is December 1. You have 24 shopping days til Christmas. If you read this tomorrow, then you have 23. The day after, you have 22. You may want to print this article and use it to calculate the days left. No need to thank me. It's just a service I provide.

This is the season to be jolly and spend. So spend happy. The retail community depends on you. They make or break their budget this time of year. This season makes up for any loss they have experienced up to now. This will pay for their overhead including wages. So........you are helping a large part of the population that works in the retail industry. And they in turn are providing for their families and loved ones. So......you are also helping families. And they are the backbone of America. So, do the patriotic thing and go out and shop. The more you spend and shop the more patriotic you are. If you don't spend anything.........get out of our country. It's un-American. Go back to the backward country and cesspool that you crawled out of. That's why God made this season, so that you could show your patriotism. This is more important even than the fourth of July. What are you waiting for? Why are you still reading this? Shouldn't you be shopping. Or least surf to eBay? Buy buy buy!!!!

Oh yes, and if you don't have anyone to shop for, then you should probably just go ahead and buy me something. It's OK. I will put myself on the line like this just so you can be a part of this patriotic season. Once again, no need to thank me. Just email me if you are unsure about what I might like to have. Thank you.

The Nobility of the Overland Park City Council

.......[c]2005 by Richard L Zorek......11.30.05.....
I've never understood why neighborhoods aren't allowed to decide what they will allow in them and what they won't. Take me, for example. Any neighborhood that would allow me in it, probably doesn't have very high standards. But, I guess that would be discrimination against Polish-American Caucasians and I am really not in the mood to be suing people over it anyway. But what about buildings? Walmart has a long history of pushing their way into neighborhoods when the neighbors don't want them. After all, they believe you are not only entitled to get a good price on merchandise, but they believe you should be FORCED to take it! Don't be making them send that door greeter out to get you. They are scary enough walking in the door sometimes, let alone having to have them come to your front door and telling you "Thanks You for going to Walmart....and I mean right now!"

How about if the brute is your own city government? Unfortunately, not uncommon. City councils and planning commissions across the country are always doing "what's best" for neighborhoods by either using eminent domain laws, or just building stuff that the neighborhoods don't want. The motive, of course, is always money........but in their noble political doublespeak, they will always say it is for the best of the neighborhood. Take, for instance, the area around 71st and Metcalf in Overland Park. The people in the neighborhood don't want a four story apartment building there. They put out petitions and even went to the planning commission meeting. Did their efforts work? Of course not. Two of the councilmen voted against it and deserve proper recognition: Janie Thacker and Charles Hunter. The other members caved in. And they, as is with councils across the country, give the old excuse "it may not be a perfect plan, but it's the best we got." No, the best you had was to listen to the people of the neighborhood who do not want it there. These councilmen do not live there.....but they should be representing the ones who do.

I Don't See Enough of William McKinley!

one of many

.......[c]2005 by Richard L Zorek......11.26.05.....I see dead people. Every time I use money. There's dead people all over it. And they are on the postage stamp, too! I guess there's some policy that says you can't be honored on a stamp unless you are deceased. So if you ever go to the post office and see a stamp with your picture on it you can feel honored...but then you should probably start freaking out.

Besides being dead, the other common denominator on the money is that they were all famous. For example, the one dollar bill has George Washington on it. He is known as the "father of the cherry trees." When they were building Washington DC and the White Cabin (Before it became a House), there was a bunch of cherry trees in the way. George cut them all down and said "I cannot tell a lie, I cut the cherry trees down." People were happy and they made him president so he could live in the White Cabin which wouldn't have happened without his diligence.

Then there's Abraham Lincoln on the five dollar bill. He is famous for being shot in a theater. When he became president the civil war started. It wasn't really civil, because they used guns and bayonets and cannons and such, but I guess they were just killed each other politely.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt is on the dime. He was president during World War II and is famous for actually admitting to everyone that his middle name was "Delano."

The ten dollar bill has Alexander Hamilton, the guy that invented the blender. And the twenty dollar bill has Andrew Jackson on it who is famous for having a county named after him. Benjamin Franklin is on the one hundred dollar bill and all he did was go fly a kite. So, you shouldn't be bothered if someone tells you to "go fly a kite." William McKinley is on the five hundred dollar bill and he is famous for being a trivia question that no one knows the answer to.

And you thought this website wasn't educational?